b'Perspectives on MarriageTRY, TRY AGAINON OUR WORST BEHAVIOR couple thanor phrase, write the issue below.r Then,wor i k n ing Few things are more frustrating for aseparately, try to rememberyou percepto of trying to solve a simple problem together. Neitherhow each of you handled it.orFinally, discuss. of you can fathom why the other does not recog-People respond in different ways dur ingf l ain fight an A. where your perceptions about yournize how wise and reasonable you are, concur withFor each of the 10 questions in section A, put an disagreement. Anger and negative ee ll g s f cus.behavior differ and why the solution you propose, and get on with other,I in the space before each response that you feel bring out less than positive behavior in a o intive it is where you domore important, things. youmost closely describes your reactions and Y in Listed below are 10 behaviors people often use B. how produc take a look at howthe space before each response that you feel most conflict situations. agree on the nature of your behavior This is an opportunity toclosely describes your partners reactions during C. which behaviors you might want toreally do come across to each other when youre inyour recent conflict. (You may fil in the same space Working alone, check if each behavior characterizeschange the middle of a fight or even a spirited discussion.for both of you on some or all of the questions.)wo of you have you, your partner, neither of you, or both of you.Together, choose one conflict the t In a word Then share your answers with each other.had recently which is still not resolved. Name the Issue: _________________________________________Both _denied that probemexstd ___exggerated the mporta(i)MeYouNeithersECTION a:duringa This parTiCul l i ar e ConfliC T ,a i felT ThaT you( i y)and n i ce of the problem. ___________________________________________________________________________1. __1. Silence ___faced the problem squarely.___________________________________________________________________________ 2. ___heard what the other was saying ___ignored the other side.3. ___stuck to the point ___brought up extraneous issues.___________________________________________________________________________ 4. ___refused to discuss ___sought to explore the issue.2. Blaming5. ___held back _____poured forth feelings (especially negative ones).___________________________________________________________________________ 6. ___did ___did not accept responsibility for coping with the conflict.3. Yelling7. ___tried to compromise or create alternative solutions. ___________________________________________________________________________ 8. ___left all the suggestions to the other person. t ___accepted ownership of the difficulty.4. Pouting ___blamed someone else for causing the conflic tations.5. Sarcasm ___recognized what is possible ___held to unrealistic expec___________________________________________________________________________ 9.___dealt with the conflict constructively ___kept harping on the same points.10. Now compare yo l u l ra d n is swe s r s s , ed c isc us fs t ing f a i n e y s s t ur p p s r i l s is e t s eo I r fi n d i s f e fer t e io n n c e B s a in dy our ___________________________________________________________________________ s. Finay, cu aho he v e d youc theyn see 6. Avoidanceperception helpparticular conflict.thinkwould, if they wouldyou actually resolve this ___________________________________________________________________________ then try them!7. Appeasement 8. Crying sECTION B:whaT would happen if we .___________________________________________________________________________ rent conflict?1. listed at least three possible options for resolving the cur___________________________________________________________________________ 2. discussed each option and then chose one together?9. Threatening3. told each other how we felt about this decision? 10. Physical Violence 4. tried to implement the decision?5. agreed to discuss the matter again in two weeks?Copyright Saint Marys Press11 12Copyright Saint Marys PressPerspectives on Marriage with Catholic Wedding Ceremony $11.95, #9105, 978-1-64121-033-1Assembled with the help of consultations from family life ministers, clergy, counselors, and married couples, Perspectives on Marriage has been used by millions of engaged couples in a vast variety of marriage preparation programs.With practical exercises and helpful, thoughtful discussion questions, this workbook focuses on vital topics and issues that engaged and married couples face. Walking through communication, commitment, finances, religion, family of origin, conflict resolution, family planning, love, intimacy, and so much more, its easy to see why Perspectives on Marriage is among the most widely used, best-selling marriage preparation resources on the market. LEARN MORE36|Favorites'