b'Perspectives on MarriageTRY AGAIN phrase,thebelow. Then, working TRY,orwriteissueyour perception of RS E AVIOR Few things are more frustrating for a couple thanseparately, try to remembertion A, put an O T B H ying to solve a simple problem together. Neitherhow each of you handled it. in secON OUR W tr you can fathom why the other does not recog- For each of the 10 questionsY in People. An different n duringi alings canFinally, discuss. is where you donize how wise and reasonable you are, concur withmost closely describes your reactions andduring ofyouother,I in the space before each response that you feel orthe solutionpropose, and get on with the space before each response that you feel most respond ingerand waystvefee fightus.A. where your perceptions about yourmore important, things. to take a look at how youclosely describes your partners reactions behavior differ and whyin the same space disagreement than positiveega in all ofin B. how productive itThis is an opportunityyour recent conflict. (You may filbring out less10behavioroften useagree on the nature of your behavior really do come across to each other when youre infor both of you on some or all of the questions.)Listed below arebehaviors peoplethe middle of a fight or even a spirited discussion. conflic Together, choose one conflict the two of you have t situations. terizes C. which behaviors you might want tohad recently which is still not resolved. In a word ing alone, check if each behavior charac of you.changeWork your partner, neither of you, or bothName the Issue: _________________________________________ i e(y)and i(i)of the problem. Then share your answers with each other.Both _dea:i duringa pro parTiCular i e ConfliC exagge ated th importayou,edThis blem___ T ,felT r ThaT you nceNeithers ECTION n atexstd___________________________________________________________________________ 1. __ th traneous issues.MeYou___faced the problem squarely.2. ___heard what the other was saying ___ignored the other side.___________________________________________________________________________ 3. ___stuck to the point ___brought up ex t.1. Silence 4. ___refused to discuss ___sought to explore the issue.5. ___held back _____poured forth feelings (especially negative ones).___________________________________________________________________________ 6. ___did ___did not accept responsibility for coping with the conflic2. Blaming ___tried to compromise or create alternative solutions. ___________________________________________________________________________ 7. ___left all the suggestions to the other person. t ___accepted ownership of the difficulty. 3. Yelling ___blamed someone else for causing the conflic tations.___________________________________________________________________________ 8.___recognized what is possible ___held to unrealistic expec i . i ll i r ,i fi fi r r i l s i e t s eo I r fid i s f e fe c r t e i nc e B s a ind y our tively ___kept harping on the same points.Pouting 9.Now eptonsFnay, t construc e d c s h c o th par veste p s s d n on theyn see4.10. ___dealt with the conflic answ u e ss s a ussnganysu p conflict.you thinkwould, ___________________________________________________________________________ perc compare your d ac sc resolve thise ticular 5. Sarcasm___________________________________________________________________________ if they would help youtuallywe . t?6. Avoidance then try them!___________________________________________________________________________ whaT would happen if1. listed at least three possible options for resolving the current conflic7. Appeasement sECTION B: ___________________________________________________________________________ 2. discussed each option and then chose one together?8. Crying told each other how we felt about this decision?___________________________________________________________________________ 3.tried to implement the decision?9. Threatening 4. 5. agreed to discuss the matter again in two weeks? Copyright Saint Marys Press 10. Physical Violence11 12Copyright Saint Marys PressPerspectives on Marriage with Catholic Wedding Ceremony $9.95, #9105, 978-1-64121-033-1Prepared and regularly updated through consultations with family life minsters, clergy, counselors, and married couples, Perspectives on Marriage has been used successfully by millions of engaged couples in a wide variety of marriage preparation programs. Through exercises, discussion questions, practical activities, and helpful advice, this easy-to-use workbook focuses on the essential topics and issues that engaged and newly married couples face. Communication, commitment, finances, religion, family of origin, conflict resolution, family planning, love, and intimacy are just some of the vital topics considered. Excellence and affordability make Perspectives on Marriage among the most widely used, best-selling marriage preparation resources available today.24 Call 800.533.8095'